Broken Heart

In effort to be totally "real" about our adoption journey, I promised myself that I would share some of the non-"rainbow and puppy dogs" days. Yesterday was one of those days. One thing that I've been putting off was to find out what shots we needed before we were able to travel. We had been told we needed to start getting them so we didn't have to put off our first trip due to unfinished shots. Well, I found out...oh boy did I find out. After a lengthy discussion with my pharmacist, I learned that we need to get at least 8 "not required but strongly recommended" shots (we haven't decided on some of the "optional" shots yet). That part isn't the part that bothers me the most. These shots will add a good 4 digit figure to our total adoption cost (someone should say at the beginning of this process..."here's what this adoption will cost you but this number doesn't include all the postage, certificate fees, shot fees on and on and on that you will have to pay"). But that isn't the part that bothers me the most. Does it scare me a little to know that I'm travelling to a country not once but twice where I have to protect myself from things like yellow fever, hepatitis, polio, typhoid, meningitis, malaria, etc? You betcha. But that STILL isn't the part that bothers me the most.

What bothers me the most is that there are millions, MILLIONS of people, CHILDREN who live in this place DAILY where these things are a risk. Do you realize how lucky we are Americans? We go about our lives not even knowing how bad things are in other areas of the world and the enormous blessing we have of living in a country where some of these things are a risk, yes, but not something most of us worry about coming in contact with unless we work in the health care system. When I worked at the hospital 10 years ago I had to get my hepatitis shots but ONLY because I was working at the hospital. We don't feel the need to run out and get these shots to protect ourselves from the man at Taco Bell who fixes our food that may spread a deadly disease to us. I may seem a little dramatic about this but seriously! This whole thing opened my eyes and broke my heart. And the other thing about it is this: these people could probably get shots to protect themselves from these things but after finding out what we will be paying to receive them, I GUARANTEE people can't afford them there. They can barely afford food for their families and yet even if they can provide that, they can't protect them from disease. God broke my heart yesterday for these people even more than He has before. They need OUR help. We (believers) are HIS people and He is counting on US to help. From whom much has been given, much is expected and we have been given A LOT. I am even more ready than before to get my little one home and know that I saved ONE from a lifetime of hardship, starvation and disease. What can you do?

You don't need endless amounts of money to help (obviously...look at us!) but you have a voice and if you're a believer in Christ, you have prayer. Are you praying? Are you praying for those who need your prayers or do you pray for yourself only? Do you realize how blessed you are? Do you worry about the red light that made you late for work more than your heart breaks for those less fortunate?

Last week our preacher shared a series of verses and one of them hit me right in the forehead. (God has to do that with me at times.)

"Remember, it is a SIN to know what you ought to do and then not do it." James 4:17 NLT

Don't like that translation? Okey dokey...

"If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn't do it, it is SIN for them."

James 4:17 NIV

Has God been trying to break your heart about something that you've been ignoring? Do you feel Him trying to tell you to do something that you're not doing? It doesn't have to be adoption...that's not for everyone...but I promise He's not telling you to sit back and remain in a cozy life either. I'm telling you people, if we hadn't already decided to move forward with our adoption, that verse alone would have been the deciding factor for us.

Okay I'm off my soapbox but I had to share what yesterday meant for me. If for nothing else, for me to look back on and remember the feeling I had if I start to forget. :) May God bless you today.