Monday, September 23, 2013

Miracles Still Happen

Well things have changed quite a bit since my last post. We are going to get our son!!!!!! Last Wednesday we learned that Nairobi approved our visa application and this morning we heard from the Ethiopian embassy that they are good with everything and we need to get on a plane. So we are! Tomorrow!!! AHHH!!! Today has been a whirlwind of packing, filling prescriptions, packing, booking flights and hotels, and packing. But I think we are good to go! I will update when I can! Thanks for your prayers!!

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Weathering the Storm

Things have been kinda quiet around here the last week or so when it comes to adoption talk. I guess in a way we avoid talking about the process just to keep the emotions and hurt at bay. We do talk about our son everyday though. A lot of "when he gets home...." and "he will love this..." and "I can't wait for him to try...". He is a member of our family through and through. He is never far from our thoughts and he is constantly being loved deeply. 

On Fridays, the kids and I were trying out a new homeschool group called GRACE. They attend three classes each (creative writing, creative construction, drawing basics, swing dancing, science experiments, and t-shirt art class) and I help out with the 2 year olds in the nursery. It is a great group and I think we will all enjoy our days there. The kids are making friends and learning and I get to love on some littles. Win-win. So while there last week, I get a text from my hubby asking if I'd be okay if we took the kids to grandmas and snuck off for the weekend. Seriously? He even had to ask? I've only been begging for that since Christmas! After trying to express my biggest "YES" possible through text, he told me to have my bags packed and be ready to leave by 4. You got it! So we headed north to drop the kids off and then further north for our final destination. The mountains. Sigh. I love the mountains. :) 

After arriving late, sleeping in and enjoying a leisurely breakfast, we decided to stroll down "Old Town" Albuquerque and just be together. We looked at art, jewelry, and Indian artifacts for two hours before deciding to grab some lunch and head to our next adventure. I had seen a brochure for a Tram ride up to the top of Sandia Peak and wanted to check it out. It was glorious! I was a little nervous at first because you start thinking about being thousands of feet above the ground and how bad it was going to hurt if the tram car decided to fall but I quickly got distracted by God's amazing creation and the beauty He creates for His children to enjoy. 


About half way up the 8000 ft. journey


See that little tram car? That was our transportation! Just a speck in the vastness of mountainous glory!


Trying our hand at a "selfie" Lol. Wasn't too bad for a couple of old lovebirds


At the top of the mountain looking back down the trail we had taken. It was cloudy and cool at the top. About 60 degrees cool! A far cry from the 100 degree days we've been having at home. 


Looking at the backside of the mountain where there are a few ski trails and another breathtaking view. A couple had just gotten married up there and I enjoyed watching them as they went through all the fun "after" pictures. 

After soaking up the cool mountain air, we headed back down so Jerod could try his hand at black jack at the casino. I am not much of a card player and I really stink at slots so I just enjoy watching him loose money and then re-earn it only to lose it again. Add in a delicious dinner and watching college football back in our hotel room and the weekend was a perfect success. 

Thank you sweet man for planning a much needed trip for this tired momma. I thoroughly enjoyed catching up on some sleep and face time with my honey. I love you to the moon and back! 


So now we're back home taking it day by day with football, ballet and other fun activities scattered throughout. Although I feel refreshed, I catch myself falling into the easy trap of letting the emotions sneak up and overtake me when things don't go quite right. Even something as simple as a little scheduling conflict can send me over the edge into a sloppy mess if I let it. I want to feel the journey but I don't want to miss out on life. We're still praying for a miracle!

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Song for the Soul

What a month. I've been stretched to what I thought was my max only to be stretched some more. 

BFF's have come to visit...


Grandparents came to play the distraction game...



We did fun projects to take with us our next trip



We got to enjoy a mother-son date



We started school with the rest of Texas...


And we waited. 
For almost three weeks we waited for one interview to take place that could possibly get us one step closer to bringing our son home. Three weeks of sleepless nights and constantly checking emails. So after debating just jumping on a plane and trying to figure out what was going on in person, we decided it would be smarter to just loose a little more sleep and try and contact the US Embassy by phone. After two nights of emailing and calling we finally got some information this past Friday. Due to some details (that will remain private) that occurred in the very first months of our son's life, the Embassy has decided that his case is not "clearly approvable" and they have sent it on to the USCIS in Nairobi, Kenya. The easiest way I can explain this is that they couldn't clear it within their jurisdiction so they had to send it to the supervisor that has jurisdiction over all of Africa. In the very beginning, this was the worst news possible and we were heart-broken; however, after talking with other families that have been down this same road, we have come to realize that this isn't necessarily a bad thing. It doesn't mean we won't be cleared, it just means it will take longer. And longer as in very possibly months instead of weeks. We are still very much heartbroken but don't feel quite so defeated. We will wait to see what steps they want to take and pray that it takes shorter rather than longer. 

Over the last two days, I think I've hit every emotion possible and have found myself struggling to stay positive. It is extremely hard to think about the fact that Little Man's baby brother won't get to watch him play football, or that he might not be around to wear the same little cow costume that his older brother did for his first Halloween. It is hard to try and wrap my mind around that he will never get to wear those very first outfits I bought for him and may never fit in the Ergo baby carrier that's waiting for him. I refuse to even think about going through yet another Christmas holiday without him. He just has to be home by then! 

Yes, I am having a hard time staying positive. But it hit me this morning that the people around me deserve for me to at least try. I can't allow myself to go into the depression coma that my broken heart wants me to. So I turned to music. While having a few minutes alone this morning I started going through all the songs on my phone and made a new play list labeled "PEACE". I only put on those songs that have really spoken to me during this journey and a few that I knew I'd need to hear from time to time. I came across one on my way to church and the words hit me like a brick. This is it! This is what I needed to hear and this is my anthem! It is by a wonderful couple that I had the privilege of seeing perform recently and it cut straight to my soul. Take a look:

He Is With Us
                                                       Love and The Outcome

Remember when your hope is lost and faith is shaken
Remember when you wonder if you're gonna make it
There's a hand stretched out through your deepest doubt

We can't pretend to see the ending or what's coming up ahead
Don't know the story of tomorrow
But we can stay close to the One who knows

We can trust our God He knows what He's doing
Though it might hurt now we won't be ruined
It might seem there's an ocean in between
But He's holding onto you and me
and He's never gonna leave, no
He is with us, He is with us, always, always
He is with us, He is with us, always

We believe there is purpose, there is meaning in everything
We surrender to His leading
He wants nothing more than to have us close

Our faith is sealed, Our hope is real
Come what may We're not afraid

We can trust our God, always, always
We can trust our God, always, always


So there you have it. A fantastic song with fantastic lyrics. God knows what He's doing! I don't need to wonder, He has it under control. He knows why our case got sent to Nairobi, He knows how much I ache. He loves me enough to help me find a song that spoke so deeply to me that I barely made it to church for crying. He loves my husband enough to provide him with a heart and shoulders strong enough to be a rock for his family. He loves my kids enough to give them such an overwhelming peace at such a young age it is a testimony to me. He loves us. He is with us.

I'm leaving you with the YouTube video link to this song. I hope it speaks to you no matter what circumstance or situation you are facing. He loves you too.