Technological Bliss

Don't you love it when you forget you have a serviceman coming to your home at 8:00 a.m. and so you answer the door with your robe and glasses on? Or that the fore mentioned serviceman stays all morning and well into the afternoon so that you get nothing else done? How about when you realize that the way your hubby and his friend set up your T.V. to work the way they wanted it to was so completely wrong that it has caused the serviceman to sigh and glare at you several times? It probably has nothing to do with the fact that he's been here all morning and hasn't eaten anything. All I have to say is getting local stations through my satellite provider better well be worth it.

Bear With Me...

Well the anticipation is finally over. My mema went to be with Jesus yesterday afternoon. The circumstances were not anything like I thought they would be....for one, I was there when it happened...I had really thought I didn't want to be, but obviously it was meant for me to be for certain reasons. Two, all the cousins who have been in town the last week just to be there for that moment weren't there. It was just 5 of her 6 daughters, me, and my uncle. The house was very quiet and peaceful and she just went. No gasping for air, no more groaning, no more pain...she just went. My mom said it literally felt as though they could feel her spirit walking away quietly and peacefully. She just finally let go.

My mom and Memaw at the ranch a few years ago....

My Memaw was a hoot. She had the funniest little quirks about her that had me giggling up until her last days. One of my most favorite memories is when I was a teenager, we all went to the water park in Oklahoma City. Even though she had had seven children, Mema was obviously still pretty modest because she did not want to wear her swimsuit without her underwear on also. So here we are, several of her teenage grandkids watching her lie on a raft floating down the lazy river, with her panties sticking out from underneath her swimsuit. At the time, we were mortified but now, I just laugh. She had a way of getting her point across without being rude and she loved me and my family for who we were. She never complained about my tattoos, or Little Man's long hair...she told me just two weeks ago how proud she was of me for homeschooling and she never ran out of "I love yous." Both her and my Pepaw scolded whoever they heard call me "Ape" and she didn't like people picking on her kids, grandkids, etc. She had a quiet orneriness about her but she got attention for it so that's okay. She always put her two cents in about whatever was being discussed even if the conversation had moved on. She liked to put Sweet-N-Low's in her purse from restaurants and she loved the Western Sizzler. There was always some sort of fresh fruit or vegetable on her kitchen counter and I always had to have a snack at her house. Most of the time it was cucumbers or bananas, but she took care of us with whatever she had. She made the most awesome banana bread and if I find any that she made in a freezer somewhere, I'm totally confiscating it. If I had bananas that needed to be used, as capable as I am of making the bread myself, I would much rather take them to her and let her make it. It has something about it that makes it delicious...probably love. She loved to read and that's why I let my kids read to her in that last day of responsiveness because they may not have known what to say, but they shared a common love of reading.

She loved kids. She worked in childcare places in several churches and she loved her great-grandbabies so much. And she has plenty of them! I'm so thankful that my kids got to know her and she got to see my niece after she was born. Most kids don't know their great grandparents but mine are very blessed with many.

Last year, I had a mother/daughter tea with all the mothers and daughters in my family and we had to dress up in dresses and wear hats. It was a blast and I think Memaw had a lot of fun. She may not have been the most prim and proper of women, but she was real and always full of dignity. Princess stayed with her not too long ago when I went to the gym one day and filled her in on all the "Hanna Montana" and "iCarly" stuff that she could. As much as Memaw probably didn't care, she sure acted like she did care and they shared that moment just the two of them. I know Princess will treasure it always.

I found this picture today and wanted to share it. This was a rarity for our family. We are blessed with a big family but one downfall to that is that you didn't get very many chances to be one-on-one when we were all together. Here she is with Little Man when he was not even two years old, and he's "reading" to her. (See? They shared that love of reading I was telling you about...even in his youngest days.) I remember this day and I remember that they just talked and talked...she knew exactly how to get on his level. She will be missed greatly.

So this is life now. It almost seems as though it wasn't real and I'll go over there today and she'll still be there but I know it was real and I know she won't be. It will be weird to have to take her phone number out of my contacts and to not see her at family functions. As irritating as it was when she talked non-stop sometimes, I will miss not hearing her try to keep up with everyone else. But she is in a better place. She is getting to hold that baby boy that she lost so many years ago and she's getting to see her Savior. She's eating and singing and dancing and loving. She always loved. And she will always be loved.

Dear Memaw,

I'm so glad to know you are not hurting anymore but I miss you so much already. You are such a sweet special lady and I hope to follow your lead in how I love my family and take care of them. Enjoy those fresh sweet fruits and veggies up there...that is definitely your kind of heaven. I will make sure we keep up your gardening efforts and plant something fresh every year. Tell Pepaw I say "hi" and that my kids miss getting to know him. They are so blessed to have gotten to know you though. You will never be forgotten and we love you very much. Good-bye my Memaw. I love you.

Anticipation

What a week. This has been one of the most exhausting and draining weeks of my life. My world has revolved around crosses getting ready for that craft show on Friday but in the midst of all that, I've been teaching school, getting the kids where they need to go, and going over to my grandmothers every day only to watch her go downhill moment by moment. It's been a week of anticipation on so many levels and I've decided anticipation is exhausting.

My memaw as you may remember was diagnosed with lung cancer back in May and over the last 10 days she went from going to the ER with stomach pain to completely unresponsive and fighting for each and every breath. Hospice was called in when she returned home from the hospital and that nurse says she could go at any minute. Thankfully, I did get my kids over there the last day she was able to communicate with them and I was so proud of them for not being scared of all the tubing and machines surrounding her. They were so mature about it all and were very impressive to me as they ignored all the "circumstances" and just paid attention to her. They read her stories, got to tell her they loved her and held her one last time. Princess has asked to see her again, but as of yesterday, they've said the cancer has moved into her brain and she isn't responding at all anymore. I don't want Princess' last memory of her to be like that.

So any minute....every phone call or text I receive could be the one that says she has taken her last breath. I have this picture in my mind of a long banner in heaven with Memaw written above it and numbers ticking away. Only God knows how many breaths she has left and when her last moment is. But I'm ready for her to go meet Him and I have no regrets. I don't want her to be in pain and watching her struggle breaks my heart.

I've tried to go on about my life and the things I need to get done but every thought comes back to that situation. I will miss her dearly as I miss my Pepaw, but I will rejoice that they will be reunited once again. The family teases that she's hanging on because her and Pepaw didn't get along all the time and she knows she's going to have to deal with him again once she dies but I know she loved him and that it will be a sweet reunion. She will get to be with her mom and dad and all those that have past before her but as Princess reminded me, she will finally get to see the face of Jesus. How great is that!!!! She gets to walk among the gold streets and sing the sweet praises of our Lord. That is what I will hold on to and cherish when all the hard stuff of saying good-bye is happening.

But as for now, I wait. I love my family, I watch football, I do my mundane things and I wait. That ticker is ticking down and I wait. Anticipation.....it is exhausting.

For my sis

Ok, due to high demand of an updated blog, I've decided to sit down and let you in on the goings of our life the last month or so. (Really, decided isn't the right word...being forced to sit down is more like it since my back is out right now. But anyway...) Where to begin? Well, we got to take our trip to Houston and see our good friends the Robinsons. We had so much fun!!! One day we went to a boardwalk called Kemah right off the coast and the kids played in the water, fed stingrays, rode rides, got their faces painted and exhausted themselves so much that they didn't make it home awake. :)

Here is Princess and B. They are the best of friends! Just like their mommas.

This is the crew after feeding stingrays. Well, to be completely honest, Robin fed most of the stingrays while I took pictures and the kids watched. Her kids were not afraid of them at all but mine were cowering in the corner and Princess was even in tears. Future marine biologists? I think not.

After the stingrays, we were invaded by a cheetah, unicorn, and Princess! They followed us around the rest of the day! It was okay though, because I thought they were really cute and fun to be with.

On Sunday, we went to the Houston Texans VS Indianapolis Colts football game. We did this last year and decided it needed to be a tradition to go every year for this game since they play in Houston at least once a year. Last year, the Colts won! Yay! This year....well, we just won't talk about it. Seth decided to go completely neutral and wear green...wimp! But we have converted B to a Colts fan!

As we headed home, I realized just how much my world seems right when we are with this family. I am so so so blessed to have them in my life and can't wait for our next trip!

Since watching the big boys, I've been watching the smaller ones. Little Man is #1 in the green and this game he was playing my nephew who is #7 in the white. It was strange for both of them to play against each other but once we told them to just play their best, they relaxed and enjoyed it.

Princess had to get in there with the boys....goofy girl!

We've celebrated birthdays...Little Man turned 9!! There will be a much longer, in depth post about this later but for now, this is all you get. :)

We've had a field trip to one of the local corn mazes. Princess was not thrilled about shucking the corn when she found a worm on it. So bubba finished for her.

We've spent time loving on that cute little niece!!! This is one of my favorite activities by the way!

My nephew celebrated his 7th birthday with a pumpkin carving party that was a big hit with all the kids. They really enjoyed playing football together and we had to drag them inside when it got dark. Boys will be boys!!

Finally, we just got back from Dallas. We came into a great deal for football tickets, and even though we are NOT Cowboys fans, we are football fans and decided to go watch the game against the Titans. Their stadium is NUTSO big. We really enjoyed seeing it and had a great time as a family on our mini-vacation. I am blessed!

This is right in front of the stadium...it was very cool!

Our seats were WAY up there but it didn't matter where you sat, you were going to look at that massive screen in the middle of the stadium. Oh and just in case you didn't know, the Cowboys lost this game. :) The Colts now have a better record than them and that makes me very happy!

So that's it! A very quick over view of the last month. :) We don't really have any upcoming trips planned but do get to enjoy 3 more of Little Man's football games. He has 3 touchdowns so far this season and lives football. He even sleeps with his. Princess is really enjoying gymnastics and shows off for me every chance she gets. I have agreed to make crosses for an upcoming fundraiser so every spare moment I have goes to that. I really enjoy getting to come up with new ideas and be creative and have even taken orders for more! They will make great Christmas presents but more on that later. I'll show off some in a different post. So there, sister, is your updated blog. :) Now, kiss that Jacee for me and get some sleep! :)

TGIF

Hi! Did you think I ran away? :) I have so much to tell you but have so little time these days! Since my last post we have started football, dance, and gymnastics, we've been to Houston, had a special birthday, and completed our 5th week of school. I have lots of pictures to download and many words to share but for now I just say hi! and aren't we glad it's FRIDAY!!!!!! I know I am! :) May God bless you today.