Okay ladies...(I'm pretty sure I don't have any men who read this)...today's topic has been stewing on my heart since first thing this morning. As I've told you before, I'm a pretty extreme person, meaning; when I'm happy, I'm very happy, when I'm sad, I'm very sad and when I'm angry, well, it's better for your health to stay out of my way. :) So it is with everything in my life it seems. Everything I put my mind into, I do ALL the way: homeschool, housework, motherhood, wifehood, whatever it is, I'm not doing it half way. Some people have said this is a trait they would like to have and to those people I'm telling you...sometimes it can be a curse. Let's take housework for example....do I pick up every single night because I like to wake up to an orderly, clean house? Well yes, but that's not my main reason. My main reason is so that in the unfortunate event of my house catching on fire during the night, I don't want the fireman to trip over things getting to my children to rescue them. Yes, I'm very serious...this is my thinking. And when leaving town, my house has to be perfection and everyone will have clean sheets before we walk out the door. Why? So when we come home after airports and such with bags and bags of dirty clothes, I don't walk into an already messy house. I want it to be my refuge of calm and order when walking in the door. I want my sheets crisp and clean after being in "borrowed" sheets and to smell their cleanness as I lay my head down, is almost as good as chocolate. Seriously, this IS my thinking.
So as with everything else, I wanted my body to be in its best beach body shape before we left on vacation. As I stood looking in the mirror this morning, it occurred to me how far away from that goal I was. And then, like a bolt of lightning, it hit me. I'm pretty sure that this has been coming with certain things that have happened in my life lately but I haven't been paying attention. What if I'm not suppose to look like a Victoria's Secret model? GASP! What if I'm just right just the way God made me? A recent conversation I had with a very unlikely person came to me and made me start thinking about things. It was with a man who was giving my husband his new tattoo. He had done our tats for the marathon which include a scripture verse and so religion and spiritual things had been discussed. I had gone in to check on my hubby because it was going to be a long session and I just happened to mention that I had just come from the gym and what a loser I was for not being able to lift much weight with my arms. "Why does it matter? You're already tiny and you're suppose to be feminine and womanly. That's why God made you a woman." Wow, coming from a man with massive holes in his ears and tats ALL over his body, he was exactly right. Sometimes I think God talks to you through unsuspecting sources. This man saw me for who God made me and I now realize that I need to start looking at myself that way. So I examined closer....I do not think I am meant to have six packs for abs. I have a little extra in that area because I grew two beautiful children inside me and gained 65 pounds with each. I could have those "perfect" abs, but I probably wouldn't have children if I did. My hips are a little wider than they use to be and I have a little extra "junk in the trunk" than in the past, but it all goes back to sharing my body with other human beings for 18 months out of my life. Would I trade them for tight, firm gluts? Not in a million years. So I need to embrace the changes that child bearing graced my body with and be happy with who God made me. Besides, my husband thinks I'm gorgeous and loves on me constantly so why shouldn't I think of myself as that worthy?
Okay...all that being said, after the Beth Moore conference on Saturday and this mornings freeing epiphany, I'm bound and determined to become secure within myself. It will be a journey and you're going to join me. I'm going to go through the Bible study that she wrote over the summer and I want to share what I'm learning.
Women! We are beautiful creations of the one great Creator and we need to realize it and tell each other that more! You ARE beautiful! You ARE strong and God loves you! Not for your dress size, not for your six pack, not for your perfectly toned thighs, but because he made you! And let's face it, that's a really good thing because if it was left up to all those other things, we'd all be sunk. :) So assignment #1: Come up with 5 things you like about your body and comment them to me. I'll start:
1. My hair: its long and thick and healthy
2. My eyes: they are big, brown and help me see the beauty around me
3. My belly: at least I don't have bad stretch marks after 65 extra pounds * 2! :)
4. My hands: they have long and slender fingers and hold the most important things in the world. (kids and hubby's hands, my Bible, etc...)
5. My legs: they are pretty well proportioned and get me where I need to go.
Okay there they are. It wasn't easy but I did it and so can you! Now, do I think God intends for us to accept ourselves and become slobs and overweight and just not care at all? Absolutely not! I think God wants us to exercise, eat right and stay healthy. Just not obsess over becoming Barbie doll perfect because that wasn't His idea of perfect anyway. Maybe it's His design for us to be doing the best we can and embrace those "flaws" that we see and be thankful for what caused them. For me, that's children. And if I can't accept those parts because of that reason, how am I ever going to expect my daughter to as she gets older?
Lastly, after going through all of this in my mind this morning, it occurred to me that after coming in and seeing me get dressed, my daughter ran back to her room and changed into something that was very similar to what I was wearing. Now you have to understand, Princess has a style all her own and so for her to want to look like me is a very big deal. It made me think: if we could all just love ourselves like God, dogs and our children do, how much better off would we be?
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
A Step Back in Time
The last few weeks our children's ministry team have recreated "Rome". Kindergarten through 5th graders get to enjoy a little taste of what the ancient times looked like, sounded like and felt like. The time you go back to is after Jesus has died, risen and ascended and Paul has been traveling spreading the gospel. At the very present, Paul is in prison for preaching but you get to visit him and he talks to you about how you need to love Jesus and believe that he is our Savior. Then you go to an underground church and take part in an underground church service. They've recreated the market place (I don't have a pic of it but hopefully will after this weekend) and there are real people having real problems that teach you a lesson (the dramas). I was blessed the first week to watch my son and my husband do a skit together in front of the whole group. They did awesome! This weekend Princess, Hubby and myself are in another drama together which should be fun and a new experience. We rehearsed last night and if I don't break into laughter every time I look at my hubby then it will be a success! :) Will post a update on that next week and hopefully have pics....
This is the stairway down to the underground church. I think it was my favorite part! It was dark and lit by candles....very authentic!
So there is a taste of Rome...will put more up later!
Here is our children's wing being turned into "Rome". They didn't leave one little corner undone. The children are blessed to have such talented and dedicated people to transform our church into anything that is asked of them. (It was even the ocean last summer!) Anyway, I love this fountain and want one in my back yard...right by the school house....including goldfish. :)
This is our biggest room and it's where the praise and worship and dramas happen.
This is Paul in prison being guarded by his soldier. Princess cracked me up because I said, "Isn't that cool? That's Paul!" And she very seriously looked at me and said, "Mom, no it's not, that's my dentist." Ahhh...I guess that's what we get for being involved along with our dentist. Oh well, she got the idea anyway. :)
This is the stairway down to the underground church. I think it was my favorite part! It was dark and lit by candles....very authentic!Here we are participating in the underground church service. I just can't say enough what a great job the children's ministry team did!
Here is Princess with our very good friend and drama director, Joni. She has her hands full when working with the Reep family. She deserves mucho kudos! :) We love you Joni!!
So there is a taste of Rome...will put more up later! Reason #102 of Why I Love Home Schooling
I should really be doing school right now. We've been up plenty of time and could go out at any moment. But....my babies are in Little Man's room playing and I'm just not going to break it up. I can hear everything that is going on and they are playing really well together. This hasn't happened in awhile. Little Man has a friend that lives just right down the street from us that is the exact same age as him. They get along really well and last weekend they spent almost all day Saturday and all day Sunday together. Then on Tuesday we had some friends come over for a play date and both families have two boys each. So as you can probably guess, Princess has been having a hard time not only not having a girl to play with, but not having her bubba to play with either. So am I going to go interrupt and crack the whip to get our school day started? Absolutely not...I know we don't have much to do today and that it won't take us long and it's so rainy and cold outside, I know we can do it at any time today without missing precious outside time. Is this the right thing to do? I think so. Play time is as important as book time at this age and they are actually playing with toys not a video game or other electronic gadget. They are using their imaginations and to me, that is golden. If they are in disagreement about something, I'm hearing them very reasonably working it out instead of yelling and screaming. That's a huge life skill right there that I can teach all day long but is useless unless they get to practice it. So I'll sit here a little while longer, enjoy another cup of coffee, listen to the pitter pat of the rain, and listen to the sweet voices of my angels that I adore.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Soul Sista
I was going to begin this post by telling you all about my eyes and how I have been battling them hurting and burning today and how I'm completely exhausted because of it. I even had a really catchy title for it. But, instead of boring you with details of my physical aliments, I thought I'd bore you with what's really going on...my mental aliments.
Have you ever had someone in your life that you knew God had blessed you with? Someone that you just knew was a gift sent straight from heaven to bless your life and the life of your family? Well, I have that person and just as we were beginning to form an amazing friendship, she had to move away. Not only to a different house and a different county, but a different city far, far away. And I miss her. Let me tell you how we met.
When I was pregnant with Little Man, I worked on the pediatric floor of the local hospital. I always said God put me there at that time on purpose to help me deal with motherhood. :) While there, I met this amazing little boy who was so full of joy and smiles that he melted your heart every time you looked at him. The kicker is, most of the time he was in ICU and would come in at night. So if I hadn't been put on this oddball night shift for the few weeks that I was, I may not have ever gotten the opportunities that I did to get to know him and his mom. I remember sitting on the floor behind the nurses station during the night talking with this woman, telling stories and laughing as quietly as possible so we didn't wake the other patients. It was the way we could keep a close eye on her son but still keep each other awake. When I got moved to the day shift I didn't get to see them as much but still on occasion I'd sneak back to the ICU when I knew he was there to say hi to him and his mom. You see, this little boy was not going to get better...ever. And there came a point where we all knew it and had to accept it. It was just a matter of time before God took him to heaven and took all his pain away. The hardest part about this little boy's story is that his condition that took him at such a young age started with just a simple toddler temper tantrum. It wasn't cancer, or another common disease...it was a condition that was only discovered because he threw a fit. As time went on, I delivered Little Man and was at home recovering. I knew that I was going to become a stay at home mom and not go back to work, but I still called and checked on this certain little boy in the middle of the night during nighttime feedings. Then one night, my friend told me it happened. He was gone. I cried and cried. I cried for the family, I cried for the nurses, I cried for myself. It just wasn't fair. I often found myself wondering about his mom and family and if I came across someone who knew them, I would ask a dozen questions trying to make sure they were okay.
Now, fast forward 6 1/2 years...I walked in to church one day and saw her. This little boys mom was standing in the very same room that I volunteered in every week. My heart went to my stomach and I was just sure that she would never want to speak to me or even acknowledge that she knew me because let's face it, we didn't know of each other from the best of circumstances. But what she did amazed me and touched me. She smiled and introduced me to her husband. See, I hadn't met him much during those nights at the hospital and when I left I was 9 months pregnant so I didn't even look the same. Even if he had met me from the hospital, it was highly unlikely he recognized me years later. I was amazed at her grace and strength. She could have run away because just being around me reminded her of her son but she didn't. She embraced me and made me feel at ease. She saw past the circumstances of our acquaintanceship and saw me as a mom, wife, volunteer, and a friend. She is truly an amazing woman.
As time went on, we became very good friends and were blessed to spend some time together at a children's conference in Chicago last year. We stayed up talking to all hours, we laughed together, we cried together, we even slept in the same bed to save money. Now that's friendship! :) When I got home from that trip, I remember telling Jerod, "Honey, it's like she's my soul sister! I have found friendship with her that most people only dream about!" We spent many hours together getting our church ready for upcoming events, our daughters were becoming two peas in a pod and I completely blame her for getting me into the marathon I ran later on in the year. :) She was just what I needed in a friend and I could finally say that I trusted someone to be myself around them.
About two months later, she called me to tell me that they had to move to Houston. What!!!?? NO! Her husband got a job there and they had to make the move because living apart wasn't working out. Why? It was like God gave her to me and then took her right away. Why after being reunited after all that time from our previous situation? I didn't understand the reasoning and still don't, but it happened. In August, my family helped them load up and we drove the 14 hours down there to help them move. It was one of the most emotional times of my life. See, through all of this, not only were WE becoming friends, but our families were bonding too. My hubby doesn't open up to many people, but in Todd he found a true friend. Little Man looks up to their teenage son that makes me smile. He's a great kid to look up to. A perfect example of what I would like my son to be like. We laugh together, we play around and tell jokes, we tease each other. Just like they are our own blood. We're family. As we pulled out of Houston a few days later, I really didn't know what to expect. I'd never known someone to stay in touch after moving away but I felt this was going to be different.
We do try and keep up the best we can. I know I can count on her to pray for us at a moment's notice, and we do the same for them. But I can't hug her, I can't just drive over to her house and sit and chat with her, I can't go run with her, I can't have her daughter spend the night and listen to her and Princess share giggles. I can't have her family over for dinner to share fun moments together. I miss her. I miss her family. I miss giving them hugs. I miss getting to talk to her on a regular basis. I miss my soul sister and I'm needing some time with her. It's been the longest amount of time between face to face visits since they moved and I'm feeling it.
If you're still reading this....wow....thanks for letting me unload. I know not feeling well has me a bit emotional and weepy and this is how I decided to handle it. If you have a friend that was given to you by God, love on them today and tell them you appreciate them. Don't take your time together for granted. And recognize that they are a God given blessing. It's like I tell my soul sista, "We may not share the same blood, but through God, you are my family."
Have you ever had someone in your life that you knew God had blessed you with? Someone that you just knew was a gift sent straight from heaven to bless your life and the life of your family? Well, I have that person and just as we were beginning to form an amazing friendship, she had to move away. Not only to a different house and a different county, but a different city far, far away. And I miss her. Let me tell you how we met.
When I was pregnant with Little Man, I worked on the pediatric floor of the local hospital. I always said God put me there at that time on purpose to help me deal with motherhood. :) While there, I met this amazing little boy who was so full of joy and smiles that he melted your heart every time you looked at him. The kicker is, most of the time he was in ICU and would come in at night. So if I hadn't been put on this oddball night shift for the few weeks that I was, I may not have ever gotten the opportunities that I did to get to know him and his mom. I remember sitting on the floor behind the nurses station during the night talking with this woman, telling stories and laughing as quietly as possible so we didn't wake the other patients. It was the way we could keep a close eye on her son but still keep each other awake. When I got moved to the day shift I didn't get to see them as much but still on occasion I'd sneak back to the ICU when I knew he was there to say hi to him and his mom. You see, this little boy was not going to get better...ever. And there came a point where we all knew it and had to accept it. It was just a matter of time before God took him to heaven and took all his pain away. The hardest part about this little boy's story is that his condition that took him at such a young age started with just a simple toddler temper tantrum. It wasn't cancer, or another common disease...it was a condition that was only discovered because he threw a fit. As time went on, I delivered Little Man and was at home recovering. I knew that I was going to become a stay at home mom and not go back to work, but I still called and checked on this certain little boy in the middle of the night during nighttime feedings. Then one night, my friend told me it happened. He was gone. I cried and cried. I cried for the family, I cried for the nurses, I cried for myself. It just wasn't fair. I often found myself wondering about his mom and family and if I came across someone who knew them, I would ask a dozen questions trying to make sure they were okay.
Now, fast forward 6 1/2 years...I walked in to church one day and saw her. This little boys mom was standing in the very same room that I volunteered in every week. My heart went to my stomach and I was just sure that she would never want to speak to me or even acknowledge that she knew me because let's face it, we didn't know of each other from the best of circumstances. But what she did amazed me and touched me. She smiled and introduced me to her husband. See, I hadn't met him much during those nights at the hospital and when I left I was 9 months pregnant so I didn't even look the same. Even if he had met me from the hospital, it was highly unlikely he recognized me years later. I was amazed at her grace and strength. She could have run away because just being around me reminded her of her son but she didn't. She embraced me and made me feel at ease. She saw past the circumstances of our acquaintanceship and saw me as a mom, wife, volunteer, and a friend. She is truly an amazing woman.
As time went on, we became very good friends and were blessed to spend some time together at a children's conference in Chicago last year. We stayed up talking to all hours, we laughed together, we cried together, we even slept in the same bed to save money. Now that's friendship! :) When I got home from that trip, I remember telling Jerod, "Honey, it's like she's my soul sister! I have found friendship with her that most people only dream about!" We spent many hours together getting our church ready for upcoming events, our daughters were becoming two peas in a pod and I completely blame her for getting me into the marathon I ran later on in the year. :) She was just what I needed in a friend and I could finally say that I trusted someone to be myself around them.
About two months later, she called me to tell me that they had to move to Houston. What!!!?? NO! Her husband got a job there and they had to make the move because living apart wasn't working out. Why? It was like God gave her to me and then took her right away. Why after being reunited after all that time from our previous situation? I didn't understand the reasoning and still don't, but it happened. In August, my family helped them load up and we drove the 14 hours down there to help them move. It was one of the most emotional times of my life. See, through all of this, not only were WE becoming friends, but our families were bonding too. My hubby doesn't open up to many people, but in Todd he found a true friend. Little Man looks up to their teenage son that makes me smile. He's a great kid to look up to. A perfect example of what I would like my son to be like. We laugh together, we play around and tell jokes, we tease each other. Just like they are our own blood. We're family. As we pulled out of Houston a few days later, I really didn't know what to expect. I'd never known someone to stay in touch after moving away but I felt this was going to be different.
We do try and keep up the best we can. I know I can count on her to pray for us at a moment's notice, and we do the same for them. But I can't hug her, I can't just drive over to her house and sit and chat with her, I can't go run with her, I can't have her daughter spend the night and listen to her and Princess share giggles. I can't have her family over for dinner to share fun moments together. I miss her. I miss her family. I miss giving them hugs. I miss getting to talk to her on a regular basis. I miss my soul sister and I'm needing some time with her. It's been the longest amount of time between face to face visits since they moved and I'm feeling it.
If you're still reading this....wow....thanks for letting me unload. I know not feeling well has me a bit emotional and weepy and this is how I decided to handle it. If you have a friend that was given to you by God, love on them today and tell them you appreciate them. Don't take your time together for granted. And recognize that they are a God given blessing. It's like I tell my soul sista, "We may not share the same blood, but through God, you are my family."
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Where oh where has my time gone?
Hi blog readers! I'm so glad I have a few moments to catch you up on our life over the last 10 days.
Let's see...Sunday the 28th my lovely hubby went golfing with his dad for his birthday and came home walking crooked and was in excruciating pain. That's what happens when you're turning the big 3-0! You can't even do normal activities without having pain! (I can say this because I am now not the only one in our house who is in their 30's). But seriously, he has a bad back and doing something as simple as playing golf can put him out for awhile. So Monday consisted of me spending about 95% of my day in the car. He couldn't get into his little sports car and I couldn't do without my car, so I drove him to the chiropractor, then work, then home, did laundry, took him ice packs, went and got lunch, took him lunch, came home, more laundry, ballet, martial arts, pick up from work, more chiropractor, massage, pick up from martial arts, pick up from massage, go to in-laws to pick up birthday cheesecake, and home to more laundry and then crash. Recreating that day just made me tired all over again. :) It was quite the day but as I was driving around, I felt like God was telling me to be thankful in all situations and it was like He was challenging me to find the silver lining in this horrifically chaotic day. So here's what I came up with:
1) I was getting to put my love language of serving to full use: I love being needed and I love helping in any way I can. I was happy to tote my hubby around because it meant he was getting to go to places that helped him feel a little better.
2) It was an amazingly beautiful day. The sun was out, and the wind was low. It was so nice in fact that while Princess was in ballet, Little Man and I played catch in the parking lot waiting on her and both got sunburned a little on our faces. (That in itself was another silver lining).
3) Since it was such a nice day, there were several people out walking, riding bikes, etc. and as distracted as I was, I didn't run over any of them!
4) I didn't get caught speeding any that day.
5) My kids got along perfectly!
6) I got to see my mom not once but twice! She lives in such a centralized location that we used her as a pit stop when we had a few minutes between places. What's a miracle about this also is that she is so busy herself, she's usually not home but this day she was!
7) I got to listen to lots of praise music on the radio.
There are my silver linings. :) Once I started thinking about it, I had many more than I ever would have voluntarily thought on my own. I was really glad that I had decided to take the whole week off for spring break though and not feel pressured to fit school in also.
Wednesday, hubs and I left for Vegas for a few days to relax and unwind. We didn't really do much of anything since he was hurting so bad so it really did end up being relaxing. We did see a few shows and exhibits and he did teach me how to play blackjack so it was a really good trip.
We got home Saturday afternoon, and my grandparents brought Little Man to us from the ranch because he and his daddy had a skit they had to do together at church that evening. Sunday was a catch up on laundry, take a nap, and love on my kids kind of day. Not at all your typical Easter Sunday but good none the less. :) Then Monday started yet another week of school, extracurricular activities and life.
Princess is now doing 3 sports: ballet, martial arts and track and Little Man is doing 2: marital arts and track. We will be crazy busy until track is over and then ballet is over and then this summer all we have is martial arts. Who says home school kids aren't social? Ha!
So today is Wednesday and while hubs was here for lunch, we discovered that we only have 29 days until Jamaica. Woo-hoo!!!!! I know we will ALL be looking forward to that! :)
That's life these days....
Let's see...Sunday the 28th my lovely hubby went golfing with his dad for his birthday and came home walking crooked and was in excruciating pain. That's what happens when you're turning the big 3-0! You can't even do normal activities without having pain! (I can say this because I am now not the only one in our house who is in their 30's). But seriously, he has a bad back and doing something as simple as playing golf can put him out for awhile. So Monday consisted of me spending about 95% of my day in the car. He couldn't get into his little sports car and I couldn't do without my car, so I drove him to the chiropractor, then work, then home, did laundry, took him ice packs, went and got lunch, took him lunch, came home, more laundry, ballet, martial arts, pick up from work, more chiropractor, massage, pick up from martial arts, pick up from massage, go to in-laws to pick up birthday cheesecake, and home to more laundry and then crash. Recreating that day just made me tired all over again. :) It was quite the day but as I was driving around, I felt like God was telling me to be thankful in all situations and it was like He was challenging me to find the silver lining in this horrifically chaotic day. So here's what I came up with:
1) I was getting to put my love language of serving to full use: I love being needed and I love helping in any way I can. I was happy to tote my hubby around because it meant he was getting to go to places that helped him feel a little better.
2) It was an amazingly beautiful day. The sun was out, and the wind was low. It was so nice in fact that while Princess was in ballet, Little Man and I played catch in the parking lot waiting on her and both got sunburned a little on our faces. (That in itself was another silver lining).
3) Since it was such a nice day, there were several people out walking, riding bikes, etc. and as distracted as I was, I didn't run over any of them!
4) I didn't get caught speeding any that day.
5) My kids got along perfectly!
6) I got to see my mom not once but twice! She lives in such a centralized location that we used her as a pit stop when we had a few minutes between places. What's a miracle about this also is that she is so busy herself, she's usually not home but this day she was!
7) I got to listen to lots of praise music on the radio.
There are my silver linings. :) Once I started thinking about it, I had many more than I ever would have voluntarily thought on my own. I was really glad that I had decided to take the whole week off for spring break though and not feel pressured to fit school in also.
Wednesday, hubs and I left for Vegas for a few days to relax and unwind. We didn't really do much of anything since he was hurting so bad so it really did end up being relaxing. We did see a few shows and exhibits and he did teach me how to play blackjack so it was a really good trip.
We got home Saturday afternoon, and my grandparents brought Little Man to us from the ranch because he and his daddy had a skit they had to do together at church that evening. Sunday was a catch up on laundry, take a nap, and love on my kids kind of day. Not at all your typical Easter Sunday but good none the less. :) Then Monday started yet another week of school, extracurricular activities and life.
Princess is now doing 3 sports: ballet, martial arts and track and Little Man is doing 2: marital arts and track. We will be crazy busy until track is over and then ballet is over and then this summer all we have is martial arts. Who says home school kids aren't social? Ha!
So today is Wednesday and while hubs was here for lunch, we discovered that we only have 29 days until Jamaica. Woo-hoo!!!!! I know we will ALL be looking forward to that! :)
That's life these days....
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