Song for the Soul

What a month. I've been stretched to what I thought was my max only to be stretched some more. 

BFF's have come to visit...

Grandparents came to play the distraction game...

We did fun projects to take with us our next trip

We got to enjoy a mother-son date

We started school with the rest of Texas...

And we waited. 

For almost three weeks we waited for one interview to take place that could possibly get us one step closer to bringing our son home. Three weeks of sleepless nights and constantly checking emails. So after debating just jumping on a plane and trying to figure out what was going on in person, we decided it would be smarter to just loose a little more sleep and try and contact the US Embassy by phone. After two nights of emailing and calling we finally got some information this past Friday. Due to some details (that will remain private) that occurred in the very first months of our son's life, the Embassy has decided that his case is not "clearly approvable" and they have sent it on to the USCIS in Nairobi, Kenya. The easiest way I can explain this is that they couldn't clear it within their jurisdiction so they had to send it to the supervisor that has jurisdiction over all of Africa. In the very beginning, this was the worst news possible and we were heart-broken; however, after talking with other families that have been down this same road, we have come to realize that this isn't necessarily a bad thing. It doesn't mean we won't be cleared, it just means it will take longer. And longer as in very possibly months instead of weeks. We are still very much heartbroken but don't feel quite so defeated. We will wait to see what steps they want to take and pray that it takes shorter rather than longer. 

Over the last two days, I think I've hit every emotion possible and have found myself struggling to stay positive. It is extremely hard to think about the fact that Little Man's baby brother won't get to watch him play football, or that he might not be around to wear the same little cow costume that his older brother did for his first Halloween. It is hard to try and wrap my mind around that he will never get to wear those very first outfits I bought for him and may never fit in the Ergo baby carrier that's waiting for him. I refuse to even think about going through yet another Christmas holiday without him. He just has to be home by then! 

Yes, I am having a hard time staying positive. But it hit me this morning that the people around me deserve for me to at least try. I can't allow myself to go into the depression coma that my broken heart wants me to. So I turned to music. While having a few minutes alone this morning I started going through all the songs on my phone and made a new play list labeled "PEACE". I only put on those songs that have really spoken to me during this journey and a few that I knew I'd need to hear from time to time. I came across one on my way to church and the words hit me like a brick. This is it! This is what I needed to hear and this is my anthem! It is by a wonderful couple that I had the privilege of seeing perform recently and it cut straight to my soul. Take a look:

He Is With Us

                                                       Love and The Outcome

Remember when your hope is lost and faith is shaken

Remember when you wonder if you're gonna make it

There's a hand stretched out through your deepest doubt

We can't pretend to see the ending or what's coming up ahead
Don't know the story of tomorrow
But we can stay close to the One who knows

We can trust our God He knows what He's doing
Though it might hurt now we won't be ruined
It might seem there's an ocean in between
But He's holding onto you and me
and He's never gonna leave, no
He is with us, He is with us, always, always
He is with us, He is with us, always

We believe there is purpose, there is meaning in everything
We surrender to His leading
He wants nothing more than to have us close

Our faith is sealed, Our hope is real
Come what may We're not afraid

We can trust our God, always, always
We can trust our God, always, always


So there you have it. A fantastic song with fantastic lyrics. God knows what He's doing! I don't need to wonder, He has it under control. He knows why our case got sent to Nairobi, He knows how much I ache. He loves me enough to help me find a song that spoke so deeply to me that I barely made it to church for crying. He loves my husband enough to provide him with a heart and shoulders strong enough to be a rock for his family. He loves my kids enough to give them such an overwhelming peace at such a young age it is a testimony to me. He loves us. He is with us.

I'm leaving you with the YouTube video link to this song. I hope it speaks to you no matter what circumstance or situation you are facing. He loves you too. 

He Is With Us